Woman decides she wants to become polar bear food

A German woman jumped over a fence into the polar bear enclosure during feeding time and was bitten several times by one of the bears.

The brave keepers eventually managed to push the bear away and pull the woman to safety.

She was bitten by one of the four older polar bears in the enclosure and not by the famous Knut, who took Germany by storm as a cub after he was hand-raised by a keeper.

It is not known why the woman pulled the dangerous stunt but she initially appeared to be elated as she swam towards a bear in the enclosure.

I bet she wasn't elated when the bear started to eat her. She wins the stupid award for the day. You can see more pictures here.

Grandmother dies trying to break up a sword fight

A seventy seven year old Indiana Grandmother died when she tried to break up a sword fight between her brother in law and her grandson.

"We're unsure yet who started this fight, how the swordplay got involved," Mount said. "We're not sure who it was who stabbed the woman. We'll have to do some testing on the swords and figure out who had which sword, whose blood is on which sword."

One of the weapons was a World War II-era Japanese officer's sword with a thin blade, and the other had a thicker blade, Mount said.

Police placed Stegbauer's grandson, 39-year-old Chris Rondeau, under arrest on a preliminary charge of attempted murder. Stegbauer's brother-in-law, 69-year-old Adolf Stegbauer, suffered several serious stab wounds, police said.

Franziska Stegbauer was not breathing when officers arrived about 1 a.m. at the home on the city's northwest side and she was later pronounced dead at a hospital, police said.

Ok parents. Lock up all your weapons. Your guns and your swords.

Karate master kills two because of lice

A Russian Karate master killed a woman and her daughter with his Karate skills because he believed they gave his wife lice.

The drunk 26-year-old burst into a neighboring room in his hostel Tuesday and used karate moves to kill the pair, state investigator Eduard Abdullin said by telephone from Kazan, a city 700 km (430 miles) east of Moscow.

"He literally beat them to death with his hands and feet," Abdullin said. "The family were poor and drank a lot. He blamed them for infecting his wife and the entire corridor with lice."

The 58-year-old husband of the dead woman was also badly beaten, but survived.

Well, lice are nasty little buggers. Murder seems a little harsh though.

So, did that story make your head itch?

Judge sends six year old to traffic school

A six year old is being sent to traffic school because he refused to wear his seatbelt.

Daniel resists wearing a seat belt in her van.

"He took off his buckle twice. I pulled over one time and put it on him, then he took it off again right when he passed by the cop," Peet said.

A Los Lunas police officer gave Peet a ticket because of Daniel's offense.She said she went to the Valencia County courthouse and pleaded not guilty."

He agreed with me because I was wearing my buckle," Peet said. "It was my son who wasn't wearing the buckle.

"The judge waived the ticket but demanded to see Daniel in the courtroom."

The judge talked to him and told him if he would keep doing this he would have to come back to the judge and the judge would see what he could do from there," Peet said.Daniel will also have to go to a special class with the state school of driving.

I wonder how much the special driving school is going to cost taxpayers. I think that perhaps the mother should attend parenting classes also so she can learn how to make her child do something. How is she going to make him go to school when he's a teen and wants to quit or make him be home by curfew if she can't even make him wear a seat belt without a judge telling him that he has to.

I've never been a fan of discipline through the judicial system instead of through the parents disciplining through appropriate consequences at home. Hopefully this is the last our judicial system sees of Daniel but if his mother doesn't learn how to control him at the age of six I suspect it will only get worse as he gets older and is able to get into deeper trouble.

This pothole repair brought to you by KFC

KFC is volunteering to repair potholes around the country for free as long as they can put advertising on top of the repairs that says "refreshed by KFC".

While KFC seems more suited to pot pies than potholes, the company is likely to build a reservoir of goodwill among the general population.

"This program is a perfect example of that rare and optimal occurrence when a company can creatively market itself and help local governments and everyday Americans across the country," said Javier Benito, exec VP-marketing and food innovation at KFC. Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson noted in a statement that budgets are tight for cities across the country, and finding funding for road repairs is a dirty job. "It's great to have a concerned corporation like KFC create innovative private/public partnerships like this pothole refresh program."

In addition to the Louisville project, KFC has issued an open offer to U.S. mayors to tell them about the state of their city streets and request assistance. The chain will select as many as four more cities at random for pothole assistance.

Can someone tell KFC to come here. MI roads are horrible and the taxpayer savings in this economy would be welcome.

Florida City Bans Jello Wrestling

A Florida city has banned Jello Wrestling. They've also banned other forms of naked dancing and wrestling. The best part is how specific the city council was about their definitions of nudity. For example, in case you wonder what they mean by naked buttocks they'll tell you:

"For purposes of this section, the term 'buttocks' shall mean the area at the rear of the body which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top such line drawn at the top of the nates (i.e. the prominence of the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line drawn at the at the lowest visible of this cleavage or the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshy protuberance, whichever is lower, and between two imaginary lines on each side of the body, which lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above, and ..."

Good to know, in case anyone was confused.

Teens get community service for UFO prank

Two New Jersey men have received fines and community service after they staged a series of UFO hoaxes.

Between Jan. 5 and Feb. 19, Russo and Rudy released helium balloons with traffic flares tied to them on five separate occasions in what they called a "social experiment" to debunk the pseudoscience of UFOs.

They set the balloons aloft from a field in Hanover Township, later calling a local television station to report the red lights.

On April 1, they published an article and series of videos on the website eSkeptic explaining how and why they created the hoax.

But one day after the expose, Morris County Prosecutor Robert A. Bianchi held a press conference condemning the hoax, saying the floating balloons posed a potential fire hazard and could have interfered with air traffic at nearby Morristown Airport.

In court Tuesday, Carlucci accepted a plea deal from Rudy and Russo's attorneys to cite the pair for an ordinance violation. He ordered the pair to serve their community service for the Hanover Recreation Commission, working specifically with youth.

Sounds like the judge needs to get a sense of humor. Although the sentence wasn't overly harsh or unfair.

Woman calls 911 because her fried rice didn't have enough shrimp

A Texas woman called 911 because she was upset that her fried rice didn't have enough shrimp.

Restaurant' employees said the woman originally left with her order, but came back claiming she did not get her full $1.62 worth of extra shrimp. Since she had already left the building with her food, they refused to give her a refund.

"She started yelling and screaming, brought her boyfriend in and they started making a scene in here," said Alex Kim, the restaurant's attorney.

Employees said that's when the irate woman called 911 to try to get help from the police.

"I always get the shrimp fried rice, so I said I'm going to get extra meat this time. But he didn’t even put extra shrimp in there," she told the 911 operator.

Police say that the woman will not be punished for the phone call because it wasn't obscene or abusive.

I suspect that the ridicule that she will receive from the incident being publicized will be punishment in itself. I wonder if she'll go back to the restaurant.

New honeymoon destination: Saddam's bed

Iraq is looking for tourists! They are offering tourists the chance to spend the night in one of Saddams beds while the palace is being renovated for around one hundred and fifty pounds.

With its Roman columns, chandeliers and gargantuan bathrooms, the palace is a striking example of excess, and one of several reserved for the exclusive pleasure of the dictator, who was deposed in 2003 and executed in 2006.

Perched on top of a man-made hill overlooking the Euphrates, the building has seen better days: even the lavatories were removed in the orgy of looting that followed the allied invasion of the country in 2003. Until 2005, it was occupied by American troops, who have left their mark in the stonework with a variety of graffiti such as “Brian loves Brandy”.

Today outlying buildings that used to house soldiers from Saddam’s special guard have been refurbished and turned into luxury hotel rooms with widescreen televisions and king-size beds. Now the palace bedrooms are to be revamped, and that could take a considerable time.

“I’ve been here three years and I can’t tell you how many bedrooms or bathrooms there are,” said Abdul Satar Naji, in charge of security at the palace.

The palace currently sees around a thousand tourists daily who pay to look around and picnic on the estate.

Now that's where I want to spend my honeymoon. In the bed of a tyrant who tormented those who disagreed with him. Creepy

Detroit police disarm crowd of their pillows

A flash mob pillow fight was halted when Detroit Police officers took everyone's pillows away.

The pillow fight, which was to be one of at least 50 across the world Saturday organized by people on social networking Web sites, was shut down by Detroit police officers who were stationed at the park.

"I am furious," 23-year-old Elida Quesada of Ferndale said as she fumed while watching officers take pillows as soon as people showed up with them. "It (a pillow fight) is so silly and childlike. It would have been fun. It seems like everything that is fun is illegal."

Officers in blue jumpsuits were polite to the people who were stopped, but firm about seizing the pillows. One officer told a would-be pillow fighter that 5,000 pillows had been seized by the planned 4 p.m. start of the event.

Detroit Police spokesman James Tate would not say how police learned about the event in advance. He said there were numerous Internet postings. He said the event posed a clean up issue because typically there are large amounts of feathers and other pillow fillings left behind. There also were concerns of people getting hit who did not wish to participate, he said.

Michael Davis, 32, of Hamtramck said, "They took my pillows, but let me keep my cases." "They told me I needed a permit. I can understand."

Scott Harris, a 48-year-old Ferndale resident whose pillow was taken by officers, was not as understanding.

"It is not illegal to own a pillow," he said.

Now that's not fun. It's too bad that people can't be trusted to clean up after themselves.

Judge orders parrot into court

A judge in Florida has ruled that a parrot must appear in court so it's owner can be determined.

Palm Beach County Judge James Martz ordered the $2,000 parrot to appear in his court Monday to help decide which Boca Raton, Fla., woman owns the bird, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Saturday.

On one side of the legal battle is 52-year-old Angela Colicheski, who insists she purchased the parrot 13 years ago. She alleges her parrot flew away 3 years ago, only to reappear in the possession of 47-year-old Sarita Lytell.

Lytell alleges she found her parrot, also an African Grey, around the same time of the disappearance of Colicheski's bird, but refuses to hand over her beloved pet.

Colicheski's attorney, Spencer Siegel, told the Sun-Sentinel his client hopes to win her lawsuit by having Lytell bring her parrot into court.

"The bird wears an identification ring on his claw," Siegel said. "And we feel that it's necessary (to prove ownership) if the numbers on the ring become essential."

Couldn't the possessor of the parrot just give it a new ring? Or perhaps the parrot will fly to the rightful owner.

Indian elections dominated by elephant problems

Politicians in parts of rural India are facing demands for solutions to controlling elephant stampedes.

At rallies in Ranchi, the capital of the impoverished eastern state, candidates who promised to build new schools and roads have been heckled by farmers. They demanded: "What good is all that when we're not safe in our homes because of the elephants?"

ndia's growing population has meant settlers pushing into the dense jungles that used to be home to a large and untroubled elephant population.

Under pressure from humans, the beasts have in turn been forced into villages and fields to forage for food.

Confused, disorientated and hungry, they stumble into inhabited areas where their foraging expeditions often end in eye-to-eye confrontations with petrified villagers.

In January, a herd of nearly 150 hungry elephants rampaged through a village in the remote north-east, trampling to death a young family as they slept in their hut.

Farmers tired of watching elephants feasting on their crops and destroying their rickety huts have poisoned or electrocuted them. Others have shot them with poison-tipped arrows. Less lethally, some farmers have also enlisted the services of camels whose scent is apparently so unpleasant that it will drive even the laziest elephant away.

As voters look ahead to the first phase of polling on April 16, the streets of Ranchi, the capital of Jharkand, are linked with posters promising: "Save us from elephants and get our vote".

Saurabh Narayan Singh, a candidate for the Congress Party in Ranchi, said there were no easy solutions to a conflict in which both sides were justified in demanding space to live.

"I can only promise that if I'm elected, I'll train villagers to scare elephants away by bursting firecrackers or beating drums, as they do in Africa, or lighting torches and smearing fences with red chilli paste," said Mr Singh.

His rival, Subodh Kant Sahai, a candidate for the Bharatiya Janata party, said he would appoint more guards to police the area. "Well-equipped forest guards can manage the herds and keep them away from human habitations," he said.

Wow, and I thought politics were complicated here with the economy and health care. Those things are nothing compared to the horrors of elephants!!! Elephant Attack!!!

Man shoplifts a lot of shrimp

A Massachusetts man shoplifted over five hundred dollars worth of shrimp in four different shopping trips.

John Silvera, 46, pleaded guilty to charges of shoplifting and simple assault in connection with his arrest last month. Police said he stole about $500 worth of shrimp in four separate trips to the Salem Market Basket.

The Eagle-Tribune reported his plea deal required him to waive extradition so he can answer to another shoplifting charge from Methuen, where he is accused of making off with a jacket full of frozen shrimp at a Market Basket there.

Extradition for shrimp theft. Giggle. I wonder if he just had a lot of cocktail sauce.

Man attacks fiance because she made a bad sandwich

A Pennsylvania man attacked his fiance with a kitchen knife and his teeth because he didn't like the meatball sandwich she made him.

Just ask Lyndel Toppin's fiancée, whose middle finger was almost chopped off when Toppin allegedly attacked her with a kitchen knife, according to Upper Darby police.

The reason for the assault, cops say, was a poorly made meatball sandwich. Specifically, the cheese placement was all wrong, which infuriated Toppin. "That was the catalyst," police Superintendent Michael Chitwood said.

The 44-year-old woman, whom cops did not identify, was preparing dinner last week in her Kingston Road home when Toppin "became enraged due to the victim not placing cheese on his hoagie roll correctly," according to the arrest affidavit.

Toppin grabbed a knife from the other room and slashed her finger, causing a deep laceration, she told police at Delaware County Memorial Hospital, where she received 23 stitches to close the gash.

Also, instead of chomping on the meatball sub that she'd made him, Toppin wrapped his teeth around his girlfriend's left wrist and refused to let go, the criminal complaint says.

"Toppin bit down on the victim's arm and would not release his bite," Upper Darby Investigator Matthew Rowles wrote in his report. The bite left swelling and teeth marks.

"It was a barbaric attack," Chitwood said.

I wonder what he's going to do when he tastes the prison food?

SuperBaby!!!

A Michigan boy has a medical condition that gives him super strength.

At 5 months old, Liam Hoekstra of Grand Rapids, Mich., started doing an expert gymnast move called the iron cross. By 8 months old, Liam could do a pull-up and by 9 months, he could climb up and down stairs.

"I would hold him up by his hands and he would lift himself into an iron cross. That's when we were like, 'whoa, this is weird,'" Liam's mother, Dana Hoekstra told The Associated Press.

Soon, the family thought to take him to specialists, who diagnosed Liam with a rare condition loosely called myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, according to reporting by the AP.

The condition is so rare, only a few similar cases have been documented in medical literature. Hoekstra declined to do more interviews with ABCNews.com, saying she hoped to get her son out of the limelight for a while.

Wow, it's like a real life comic book except without the nuclear radiation causing the issue. I wonder what costume he'll choose.

Man coughs up nail stuck in his nose for thirty years

A Colorado man stunned doctors when he coughed up a nail that could have been in his face for thirty years.

Prax Sanchez went to the doctor complaining of pain under his right eye. The doctor ordered an MRI, whose magnetisms seems to have dislodged the inch-long nail from Sanchez's sinuses, local TV station KKTV reported. On his way home, he coughed the nail up, much to his surprise.

"I never had any idea there was any metal in my face," Sanchez told KKTV.

He'd had a dizzy spell about a year ago, and has a x-ray taken of his head. At the time, doctors somehow missed the inch-long nail that appeared clearly in his films, Colorado's KOAA TV station reported.

Now that's disturbing. How could he not know that he had a nail in his nose. Eek!

Inmates use pigeons to smuggle cell phones into prison

Prison guards in Brazil have discovered carrier pigeons smuggling cell phone parts into a prison farm.

Guards at the Danilio Pinheiro prison near the southeastern city of Sorocaba last week noticed a pigeon resting on an electric wire with a small cloth bag tied to one of its legs.

"The guards nabbed the bird after luring it down with some food and discovered components of a small cell phone inside the bag," police investigator Celso Soramiglio said Tuesday.

One day later, another pigeon was spotted dragging a similar bag inside the prison's exercise yard. Inside the bag was the cell phone's charger, Soramiglio said.

The birds were apparently bred and raised inside the prison, smuggled out, outfitted with the cell phone parts and then released to fly back.

"Pigeons instinctively fly back home, always," the investigator said.

Soramiglio said that police have not discovered who raised the pigeons or the name of the inmate who was going to receive the cell phone, but that he hoped the telephone carrier would provide the information.

"Some of them are members of organized crime groups that use cell phones to talk to family and friends and to give and receive orders for criminal actions outside and inside prisons," Soramiglio said.

Now that's inventive. Too bad they can't put their brains to use doing some good.

San Fransisco bars overrun with snuggies

Over two hundred people showed up for a San Fransisco pub crawl wearing snuggies, blankets with arms.

Keith Charles F., 25 (he said he preferred to not give his last name to the newspaper), and Patricia Prislin, 24, said they met on social networking Web site Yelp and started talking about a recent Snuggie pub crawl in Chicago and the possibility of starting a Snuggie event closer to home, the San Francisco Chronicle reported Tuesday.

The pair said they didn't just ask people to show up in their Snuggies, they offered costume competitions for best male, best female, best group, best couple and sluttiest Snuggie.

"We kept moving the date back because people were not going to get their Snuggies in time," Keith Charles said to the newspaper before the event. "Don't tell anyone but I got a red one off of eBay."

I bed everyone was warm and comfortable, yet able to easily move their arms.

Man claims apples caused high blood alcohol reading

A politician in Poland who failed a blood alcohol test blames the apples that he had eaten earlier in the day.

Asked why a traffic police check Sunday showed he had 0.7 units of alcohol in his blood, Marek Latas denied having drunk alcohol that day.

"I am diabetic, I ate a few apples before driving.

"I have been involved in no accident, I underwent a routine roadside check. I was confident there was no chance I had alcohol in my blood," said Latas, a member of parliament for the conservative opposition Law and Justice Party.

The prosecutor's office is investigating his case, the website said. In Poland, the legal limit for alcohol when driving is 0.2 units. Fermented apple juice can be used to make cider, an alcoholic drink.

That's what they all say. I bet he's friends with the guy who blamed ice cream on his alcohol reading.

Teacher's job at risk after sex-ed talk

Parents are calling for an Italian teacher to loose her job after she discussed genital piercing, handcuffs and whips with her sixth grade students.

Parents of the children in the fifth and final year of an elementary school in this northwestern Italian city have asked the school to keep her away from their children.

The headmaster of the elementary school, Vincenzo Guarino, said the teacher was guilty of ''serious naivety'' in not realising that ''certain subjects and language can be used in a class of 15-year-olds, but not 11-year-olds''.

''It's true that she was only answering questions but there are ways of discussing these things''.

Parents say the unidentified teacher went into detail about bondage and S&M after an initial discussion on masturbation led to oral sex and further afield.

The teacher has defended herself by saying she was only doing what she had been told in a training course for teaching children about sex, which emphasised the importance of speaking frankly in order ''to clear things up''.

Not really sure how a teacher could think that was appropriate for sixth graders. However, it seems like her training course wasn't appropriate either.

What do you think? Should she be fired? Disciplined? Transferred to another school?