Saturday, January 3, 2009

Elephants lose over 11,000 pounds

A group of seven elephants at the San Diego zoo have been put on a diet. The elephants which were overweight compared to elephants in the wild gave up their snacks and treats to be more fit.

To get the elephants back in shape, zookeepers introduced a diet high in hay and stopped feeding them treats such as bread, corn and jelly beans.

Instead of three big meals per day, they get several small meals. Zookeepers also scatter the food around the yard so the elephants have to work to find it.

At the San Diego Zoo, keepers also trained the elephants to walk laps around their enclosure. Elephants at the Wild Animal Park are also encouraged to walk across their 3-acre enclosure. Workers rake the packed soil to simulate jogging on soft sand.

So basically the elephants did what our Dr's all tell us to do. Ate lower calorie diets and exercised more. No lap band surgery needed.

Man gets refund of four cents from IRS and owes five cents

A lawyer in Detroit received a letter in November telling him that he owes the IRS five cents and that he must pay to avoid late fees. Then he got a letter telling him that the government owes him four cents but he won't get the refund unless he requests it because it's under a dollar.

Howarth said he's not sure if there is a connection between the two notices, or if the refund represents a recalculation of the original bill.

The perplexed lawyer said he called an IRS 800 telephone number but gave up after spending a long time on hold.

I wonder what the interest and fees would be on five cents? And does he owe five cents or one cent?

California Woman is now oldest person

A woman in California has been named the worlds oldest person. Gertrude Baines is 114 and lives in a nursing home in Los Angeles.

When CNN interviewed Baines two years ago, she was asked to explain why she thought she has lived so long.

"God. Ask him. I took good care of myself, the way he wanted me to," Baines said.

Her only child, a daughter, died of typhoid fever at age 18.

Much of her long life was lived in Ohio, where she worked as a "house mom" at a state university. She eventually divorced and traveled to Los Angeles, where she retired.

She lived on her own till she was 105! What a lady.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Who wants a dog when you can can have a chicken

Many more city families are keeping chickens as pets. Families are keeping chickens because they produce fresh eggs, pest control and cheap protein.

California Web developer and business consultant Rob Ludlow, for one, tells people his pets make him breakfast but it's no joke with five egg-laying hens in the back yard of his Pleasant Hill home.

Chicken lovers have convinced some cities to change their rules to allow small numbers of backyard chickens. Regulations generally limit the number of chickens families are allowed to have and do not allow roosters.

Would you object to your neighbor having chickens?

Shoes tie up Miami expressway

Thousands of pairs of shoes with their laces tied together blocked traffic today in Miami.

State troopers are looking for a charity to take thousands of shoes that were dumped on a Miami expressway, tying up rush hour traffic. Lt. Pat Santangelo says the Florida Highway Patrol received a call about the shoes Friday morning.

Santangelo says he's not sure where the shoes came from. There were no signs of a crash and no one stopped to claim them. He says he hopes someone will take them because he doesn't want to send them to the dump.

I think it was space aliens.

They used highway equipment to sweep the shoes to the shoulder but it was expected that traffic was delayed for hours because of the shoes.

Town overrun by porcupines

A town in Colorado's residents are facing thousands of dollars worth of damage due to a large number of porcupines.

The spiny rodents have done more than $100,000 in damage to landscaping by gnawing bark off spruce trees. They have completely stripped some 12-foot-tall yard trees. They have eaten enough bark from 50-foot-high native trees to kill them.

Porcupines also like anything salty and sweaty, so they have chomped on plywood that is treated with a sodium-based substance, as well as on tool handles, footwear and vehicle tires. They've even snacked on a few village doors.

It is not uncommon for porcupines to be around but they are extremely aggressive this year.
The town has designated open spaces for the porcupines and will educate residents on how to deal with the pesky and poky critters. Perhaps by keeping their footwear inside. No shoes and porcupines everywhere sounds like a bad mix.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Man stops drunk driver with paintball

A man in Washington state told police that he was shooting off his paintball gun to prevent his friend from driving drunk.

Lattin said investigators arrived at the apartment complex to find Shawn Wallace, 41, firing paintballs at the windshield of a friend's car. He said Wallace, who was arrested on suspicion of unlawfully discharging a weapon and an unrelated misdemeanor warrant, told officers he was covering the windshield in paintballs to prevent its owner from driving under the influence of alcohol.

Police said that using a paintball gun to
prevent drunk driving is inventive but not legal.

I wonder if that was the real reason or if the man just cooked up a good story after the police showed up.

Judge orders man to wear underwear

A judge in New Zealand has ordered a homeless man to wear underwear as condition of his bail.

Ben Hana, known in Wellington as the Blanket Man due to his choice of a blanket and a loincloth as clothing, was released on bail Wednesday in Wellington District Court after his Dec. 23 arrest for obscene exposure and cannabis possession, The Dominion Post reported Thursday.

Hana's lawyer says that he isn't exposing himself deliberately he just wears high risk clothing.

Underwear sounds like a good idea.

Not a good idea to take your drivers test in the snow

A woman in New York injured a pedestrian while taking her drivers test in snowy conditions.

New Rochelle police said the 23-year-old driver rounded a corner Wednesday morning, lost traction and trapped a man cleaning snow off his car. Lt. George Marshall says the examiner tried to use the test car's secondary set of brakes, but they failed.

Authorities are trying to figure out why the accident happened and if it was the fault of the car, the conditions or the driver.

I'm assuming she flunked the test.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Zune leap year bug makes users cry

A Y2K like bug has made Zune players inoperable causing the machine to freeze. Upon finding their Zune's frozen users proceeded to freak out on the Zune message boards.

Emotions were running high on the Zune message board as some users said they were about to cry and others went so far as to say they might even die without their player. Others cut in, telling people to “CHILL OUT.”

For some, the Zune freeze made them realize just how attached they are to their player, containing music sometimes collected over years.

“My whole life’s music is on mine, over 2,000 songs, so I damn well hope they fix this,” read a posting on the Zune message board.

Your MP3 player being frozen is bad, but not bad enough to make you cry.

In case you happen to be the owner of a Zune here are the instructions on how to fix it after noon tomorrow.
  • Let the battery die.
  • Recharge it.
  • Turn the device on.
Please don't cry


So apparently there is a new condiment in town. Baconnaise. It's exactly what it sounds like, bacon flavored mayonnaise. I can't decide if it sounds delicious or disgusting.

The company that makes baconnaise also makes bacon flavored salt to put on your fries or baked potatoes.



Piggy bank: hot christmas gift

Americans bought a large number of piggy banks for Christmas this year.

"We definitely noticed a trend with the piggy banks," said Erin Mara at Homebody, a design store in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Washington, DC.

"People were very upfront about the need to save...the pig is very symbolic of that sentiment," she said.

Saving is always a good idea. But does the saving need to be in pig form? The little one in tights got a pug bank (complete with curly tail) for Christmas.

Caution: driving plow on ice can lead to job loss

A man in Minnesota has been fired after driving his loader onto a frozen river.

Mike Raymond was clearing snow from county parking lots early Monday when he decided to also clear off a boat ramp on the frozen Red Lake River in Crookston.

Raymond says he wanted to make it easier for people who pull fish houses on trailers onto the river. He so happens to have a fish house on the river himself — but told the Grand Forks Herald that's not why he wanted to clear the area.

The John Deere 544 loader slid down the cement ramp, through the ice to the river bottom.

Raymond was quickly rescued but it took much longer to retrieve the vehicle.

Poor guy, who would have thought that driving an extremly heavy loader onto ice would be a bad idea.

Old lady kicks her attackers butt

Police in Oregon say that a naked man that attacked an eighty eight year old woman ran off after she grabbed his balls.

The victim told police that an attacker backed her into her living room and shoved her face-down into a chair. She said the attacker fled after she grabbed his crotch and squeezed.

Go old lady go!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Man chooses jail over paying $1.57 for soda

A man in California caught stealing a soda was given a choice. Pay for the soda or leave.

Police responding to the report of a theft recently say the 27-year-old man appeared drunk. An employee told officers the man had taken a cup from the counter, filled it and began drinking.

The man who had $70 in his pocket refused to do either so the policeman cuffed him and hauled him off to prison.

That's a smart one.

Man robs bank using note written on his pay stub

A bank robber in Chicago was easily caught by police after leaving behind the paystub that he used to write a threatening note.

Federal investigators allege Thomas Infante, 40, entered the Fifth Third Bank branch shortly before 6 p.m. Friday and handed a female teller a note threatening to open fire if she did not give him cash, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Tuesday.

The robber fled with $400 but without the note, which investigators said was written on the back of a pay stub that bore Infante's name and address.

I would like to thank the bank robber for saving tax payer dollars by making it easy for the FBI to locate him. It should be easy to prosacute him.

Goldfish lives for thirteen hours without water

A goldfish in the UK lived for thirteen hours out of its fishbowl.

Barbara Woodford woke to discover Ginger missing from its bowl. Unable to find the fish before leaving for work, she feared the worst.

But when she returned home in the evening she spotted her pet on the floor behind a cupboard, alive and well.

"I picked him up with a spatula and his mouth started moving. I put him back into the water and off he went. He was swimming fabulously. I couldn't believe it - it was a real Christmas miracle," said Mrs Woodward, 61, of Gloucester.

It is not uncommon for fish to jump when they need more oxygen and this fish jumped up and out of its bowl. A spokesman from a goldfish association (yes a goldfish association) said that fish can survive for quite a while out of water as long as their gills stay moist.

So, do you think the fish was needing more oxygen or suicidal?

Monday, December 29, 2008

FDA approves drug for eyelash growth

The makers of Botox have gotten FDA approval for a new drug that will stimulate eyelash growth.

Latisse, which is designed to treat a condition known as hypotrichosis of the eyelashes, which means a person does not have enough eyelashes, has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

When applied once daily to the eyelid with a disposable applicator, the drug Latisse apparently improves the length, thickness and colour of hairs.

Continued use is necessary to maintain the thicker lashes, and side effects can include eye redness and itchiness, a darkening of the eyelid skin and a permanent darkening of the whites of the eyes.

So, you get long beautiful lashes and red itchy eyes. Sounds delightful.

The drug is expected to cost around $120. My great lash only costs $3.00 and it makes my lashes darker and longer without the yucky side effects.

Man robs store and then returns later for medical help

A man in Tennessee who cut himself while robbing a convenience store by walking through shattered glass returned hours later to ask police for medical attention.

Officer Chandler Rollo said he was at the store waiting for a manager to arrive with a key after the break-in when the blood-covered suspect approached him Christmas Eve.

The suspect required dozens of stitches in his hand and ankle.

Note to criminals. Do not return to the scene of the crime and ask police who are investigating the crime to help you with your injuries that you acquired during the crime.

Foreclosed homes = great skate parks

Skaters from around the world are rushing to Fresno for the great skating in empty swimming pools of foreclosed homes.

In these boom times for skaters, Mr. Peacock travels with a gas-powered pump, five-gallon buckets, shovels and a push broom, risking trespassing charges in the pursuit of emptying forlorn pools and turning them into de facto skate parks.

“We can just hit them back to back,” said Mr. Peacock, who preferred to give his skateboarding name because of the illegality of his activities.

In draining these empty pools the kids also are doing a good deed for the city. Removing potential mosquito breeding grounds.

Dirk Voss, a code enforcement agent in Oxnard, Calif., northwest of Los Angeles, said even those residents who manage to stay in their homes often could not maintain the pool. “They don’t want to pay for the power to run the motor or pay for the chemicals to treat them,” Mr. Voss said.

But skaters do not mind doing the work, whether it is that of scouting for pools or scouring them. Adam Morgan, 28, a skater from Los Angeles, said it used to take months to find a good skating pool. Now the task is a breeze.

The police have caught Mr. Peacock twice in the past weeks and have asked that they leave instead of issuing citations.

Shark Activist Eaten by Shark

A shark activist in Sydney has been eaten by the animal that he tried to protect.

Luke Tubbs told how a witness ran to his house in shock and screaming for help: "He just saw a big splash and then the shark roll over in the water with the guy and then [he saw] no body or anything."

Daniel Guest, who was swimming six metres away at the Port Kennedy beach, heard his father's screams but did not see the attack. He raced to shore when he saw blood in the water. His father's shredded wetsuit was found later, and aerial searches spotted a five-metre great white shark swimming in the area.

In Sydney, some hours later, a kayaker survived a terrifying ordeal after being knocked from his craft by a great white shark. That encounter, endured by 29-year-old Steve Kulcsar, occurred less than a mile off Australia's east coast, at Long Reef, and was filmed by a fisherman in a small boat nearby. The video footage apparently showed the shark circling Kulcsar after bumping him off his kayak.

The beach has been closed because of the attacks. The victims son said that this will not keep him out of the water and he wants others to think of it as a random accident and not to be scared of the ocean.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Dogs save man from crazy elk

A man in Sweden escaped with only minor injuries after a pack of dogs chased a crazy elk away from him.

The four-legged beast suddenly attacked the man as he attempted to drive the animal out of his yard.

“He was in an orchard when the elk attacked. He ended up with a wound on his head and was taken to hospital,” said Norrbotten police spokesperson Rolf Hamstig to the Aftonbladet newspaper.

The man’s injuries may have been worse had a pack of Norwegian Elkhounds not escaped from their nearby pen and chased the angry elk into the nearby forest.

Officials are deciding whether the elk needs to be found and destroyed as elks usually are not aggressive animals.

Man burned while trying to impress his girlfriend

A man in Sweden has suffered serious injuries after trying to impress his girlfriend by setting his arm on fire.

“It obviously didn’t go well. He burned his arm and other parts of his body and was in a state of shock,” said Kalmar police spokesperson Reine Johansson to the TT news agency.

“Don’t ask me what the point of the trick was supposed to be.”

Who'd of thought that pouring gasoline on your arm and then lighting it would be a bad idea.

He is also facing possible charges for endangering the public.