Saturday, April 18, 2009

Woman fined for loud lovemaking

An Englishwoman received a fine because she refused to follow an order by her city to keep her lovemaking sessions quiet as to not disturb her neighbors.

The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday that Caroline Cartwright, 47, was found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice served on her after police received 25 complaints about her loud sessions with husband Steve.

She was fined more than $760, The Sun reported.

"I am not making the noise on purpose," she told magistrates in Sunderland. "I have no desire to hurt anybody or damage any property."

One neighbor reportedly said she had not gotten a decent night's sleep for two years because of the Cartwrights. Another neighbor said she was forced to move out because of the noise, the Telegraph reported.

So, is the law excessive or is she just rude to her neighbors?

School official convicted of Ketchup theft

A California school official has been convicted of petty theft after stealing a half bottle of ketchup.

Steve Rocco, an ex-Orange Unified School District trustee was convicted of misdemeanor petty theft for taking the bottle of ketchup from Chapman University last September.

The jury's vote was unanimous.

Rocco, who became known for railing about conspiracies against him by a group he called the Partnership during his single term on the school board,
testified that he was set up by political enemies.

He insisted that witnesses against him, including campus police officers, lied.

In earlier court papers, he told police he took the bottle to simply recycle it. But jurors didn't think that explanation cut the mustard. (Sorry!)

Deputy Public Defender Erica Gambale said Rocco picked up the bottle of
ketchup which was left out at an outdoor eating area on campus. She argued that its worth was "zero dollars and zero cents," which meant no crime was committed because nothing of real value was stolen.

Prosecutors can now slap Rocco's Hein-z (ouch!) behind bars for six months, but they said he most likely would face a small fine and probation. (And, no doubt, a restraining order against using any more condiments.)

Susan Schroeder of the Orange County District Attorney's Office said previously that she also expected prosecutors to seek an order barring Rocco from the Chapman campus.

During the trial, there were various estimates of the worth of the ketchup, with school officials reporting that they pay $1.20 per bottle.

There was also dispute as to how much ketchup was actually left inside the bottle, with one campus officer saying the bottle was three-quarters full. There was also some indication that the bottle had to be shaken in order to detect some liquid inside.

Really, was it worth the tax dollars that go into a jury trial for Ketchup? Ketchup? Both of those lawyers and the judge should get pelted with ketchup after that waste of time.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Town uses cows to chase young motorcycles away

A town in the UK has enlisted cows to deter youths on motorcycles that have been tearing up fields and knocking down fences.

since the cattle, which are owned by a local farmer, were introduced recently, complaints about anti-social behaviour have dropped sharply.

Officials at Hampshire County Council also hope that the presence of the cattle could deter travellers, who have settled at the site in the past, from returning.

They are considering whether cows may be the solution to other sites blighted by anti-social behaviour.

And while discussions on whether to place permanent football pitches on the site continue, officials say that the cows have an added benefit – by fertilising the grass with their manure.

"In the fields before, youths were breaking down the fence and coming in on motorbikes and tearing the place up," said John Sharkey, a spokesman for the council.

"The council received a number of complaints from residents and dog walkers.

"In response to those complaints we decided to bring in the cattle.

"Since the cattle were put in the anti-social behaviour has stopped and the people using the playing fields are much happier.

"I believe it works because the cows get in the way.

"As well as dealing with the problems, the grazing makes the quality of the land better."

Cows: Moooo

Kids: AHHHH!

Cows: Moo

Kids: *running away*

Woman shot in head then makes tea

A Mississippi woman made herself tea after being shot in the head on Tuesday.

"There's no way she should be alive," Jackson County Sheriff Mike Byrd said. "The bullet completely passed straight through her brain. It entered at the middle of her forehead and exited from the back of her head. She should be dead. It's one of the most unreal, bizarre things I've ever seen."

Byrd said a young relative was in the home when the shootings occurred and ran to a neighbor for help.

"When deputies got there, they thought they were responding to a murder-suicide," Byrd said. "But, she was up walking around and talking."

Sheriff's Sgt. Leon Rushing said Tammy Sexton told detectives she had "just made some tea and was fine."

Rushing said she appeared slightly disoriented but was alert and responsive to questions.

"She had a cup of tea on her nightstand," Rushing said. "That was evidence that she had gone to the microwave and made tea. I'm sure she made it after she was shot."

I don't think I could make myself tea recently after stubbing my toe, muchless getting shot in the head.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Students race rats

Kentucky students raced rats in an annual event at Spalding University this week.

The event is in its 37th year and pits teams of Spalding students, staff and faculty against one another to train their rats to race around a .024 furlong track. The races celebrate the end of the "rat race" of finals week and concludes a week's worth of events, such as a cereal-eating contest and a "Rat Hat" contest.

This year's theme for race day was Hollywood and celebrities, aptly named "CelebRATy," and featured competitors named Hannah Ratannah, Robert Ratford and Lucy Ratcardo.

Before racing got under way, a parade was held for the teams who trained the rats. But yesterday was all about racing.

Churchill Downs bugler Steve Buttleman played "My Old Kentucky Home" to kick off the races and he played the signature call to post before each race.

I wonder where the rats live when they're being trained. In the dorms? In frat houses?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Woman orders magazines for her neighbor, goes to jail

An Ohio woman has been sentenced to sixty days in jail for ordering dirty magazine subscriptions for her neighbor.

The neighbor told police she was billed hundreds of dollars for magazines such as Playboy and Hustler.

The woman pleaded no contest to felonious tampering with records and has been in jail since her March 16 conviction.

Her husband said he can't believe she was sent to jail over the dispute.

Her lawyers have asked a judge to suspend the rest of the sentence, noting it was her first felony conviction.

Her husband can't believe she's going to jail. Well, the rest of the country can't really believe that an adult would do something so juvenile and then be shocked that she *gasp* has to face the consequences of her actions.

Officials like potholes because they control speeding

A city in the UK has found a new way to discourage it's residents from speeding, potholes.

An article in the parish council newsletter, under the headline New Thinking Please, described potholes as "friendly".

Written by Cllr Mike Parrish, it reads: "Potholes cost a lot to repair and that's our rates. Coupled with potholes there is an ongoing cry for speed limits.

"Well, potholes are the original traffic calming measure.

"So what with saving much time, rates and calming the traffic, potholes seem quite friendly."

Mr Parrish added that allowing pot holes would benefit the parish by "slowing traffic to our ideal way of life, save hedgehogs and rates and possibly keep people out."

He said yesterday: "We decided to keep a designated main road through the village in repair and let the rest got to pot. It will mean drivers and cyclists drive more carefully and slowly." He said those who he wished to "keep out" who those who sped through the village irresponsibly.

But Mr Tyzack said: "As a former police officer, I know the dangers of unsafe road. This is ludicrous."

Adrian Enkel, vice chairman of Navestock Parish Council, said: "It's worth a shot. We'll see how it goes.

I think I'd rather have speed bumps. Potholes aren't good for your car, or people or bicycles.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dolphins block pirates

Thousands of dolphins blocked pirates from attacking Chinese merchant ships.

The Chinese merchant ships escorted by a China's fleet sailed on the Gulf of Aden when they met some suspected pirate ships. Thousands of dolphins suddenly leaped out of water between pirates and merchants when the pirate ships headed for the China's.

The suspected pirates ships stopped and then turned away. The pirates could only lament their littleness before the vast number of dolphins. The spectacular scene continued for a while.

Now that's just creepy. Are they militarized protectionist dolphins or members of the Dolphins Against Pirates league? Either way Dolphins 1 Pirates 0.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Dog nurses tiger cubs

A safari park in China is using a dog as a wet nurse to a group of tiger cubs after their mother refused to nurse them.

The Qingdao park said the mother tiger apparently did not know to feed her cubs after giving birth to her first litter Monday so workers enlisted the help of the dog, which had recently birthed a litter of puppies, Qilu Evening News reported Monday.

Park employees said the dog had previously been brought in to give milk to baby wolves.

I hope they don't eat the dog when they get bigger.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Turkeys disrupt mail delivery

Mail carriers in Michigan are facing a new threat. Gangs of aggressive turkeys!

Carrier Jeremy Bogerd has been pecked in the leg. He says the tom turkeys are "super aggressive."

He said the 15- to 18-pound turkeys chase mail carriers around the neighborhood and gather at the doors of mail trucks that enter the area.

"As soon as they see us, they're after us," he told the Grand Haven Tribune. "They're not afraid of humans."

Grand Haven Postmaster Barb Kiehborth said the turkeys have chased four mail carriers. "I don't even know what to tell them to do," Kiehborth said.

Bogerd has been on the route for a decade and said he's watched the turkeys' numbers grow over the years. He said this is the first time they've chased him.

"They'll chase you as soon as they see the truck," he said. "I would rather get attacked by a dog sometimes than these turkeys."

My solution to handling the turkeys involves a roasting pan and a side of mashed potatoes, perhaps a shotgun. A fifteen pound turkey sounds delicious.