Naked man tries to go to church, gets tasered

A naked man in Mi who wanted to go to mass because he was having problems with his parents was tasered outside of a church Friday.

The man cursed and verbally abused police before Officer Troy Sierras immobilized him with a Taser, an electronic device that fires barbs causing temporary paralysis.

The man was draped in a blanket and taken to Bay Regional Medical Center for treatment.

It was COLD here in MI here on Friday. Why would anyone go outside naked? Now I would understand if it was July. I'm glad they gave him a blanket.

He was not charged with anything, no word on if he ever got to go to mass.

99 year old man drives 90 miles to work a day

A 99 year old Illinois man commutes 90 miles to work daily to keep himself busy.

A plant watchman and "jack-of-all-trades" at A-Z Industries Inc., of Northbrook, Ill., Fabian commutes to the job in his Buick LeSabre every day from his home in Niles, Ill., despite getting ready to celebrate his 100th birthday next month, The Chicago Tribune reported Saturday.

A bachelor, Fabian says he "just needs to keep busy" at his age and is mainly motivated because of his loyalty to A-Z Industries' owners, the Anixter family.

"Loyalty is No. 1" in what makes for a successful worker, Fabian said, adding, "I think I'm married to the Anixter family."

Wow, I hope that they test him annually for his drivers license.

I guess he didn't like retirement.

Man makes employees eat two day old burgers

A UK buisness man made his employees eat two day old McDonalds burgers after one of them complained about swanky hotel food.

Damon Buffini, 46, the millionaire head of private equity firm Permira, allegedly purchased more than 100 burgers from a London McDonald's and presented the food to employees 48 hours later, the Daily Mail reported Friday.

The Daily Telegraph said the incident took place at the Pennyhill Park hotel. The newspaper said Buffini instructed hotel staff to serve the burgers for dinner during a weeklong company retreat after a partner complained about the hotel's food.

Buffini told the partners during their burger dinner that the meal was meant to remind them of "how lucky they are."

I wonder if they learned their lesson. Somehow I highly doubt it.

A Kansas woman found herself thankful to her hairdresser yesterday when her hair weave stopped a bullet.

She told police she had pulled into the market and saw a man with whom she had recently ended an eight-month relation with inside a car there.

A second man came up to the woman’s window and told her that the ex-boyfriend still loved her, an incident report filed by the Kansas City Police Department said.

The woman told the second man “I don’t love him.”

At that time, the victim heard gunshots and saw her ex-boyfriend walking toward the back of her car firing a handgun.

The victim sped away in her vehicle as her back window shattered, police said.

She returned to the scene a moment later to witness both suspects leaving in their vehicle.

Officers found a bullet in the woman’s hair and said her tightly-woven weave likely stopped the bullet.

Her mother will never tell her that her weave is a waste of money again.

Man tries to steal building

A New York man has been arrested for trying to steal a building.

Lernando Maldonado, 47, of Brooklyn allegedly filed a phony deed with the New York City Finance and Buildings departments and then tried to defraud a lender, the city said in a news release. He now faces numerous charges that could land him behind bars for years, city officials said.

"Stealing a building and using it in an effort to steal more than a million dollars in loan money, as charged here, is about as brazen a scam as can be imagined," city Investigation Department Commissioner Rose Gill Hearn said. "But with a paper trail of phony documents, and a string of charges that can lead to substantial prison terms, the foolishness of the scheme has been exposed."

Maldonado allegedly was able to move his scheme forward because he previously had been president of the property's cooperative board and his name appeared on the original deed. But he hadn't even been a tenant of the building since 1992.

Now that's ballsy. No wonder the mortgage industry is having such problems.

Boy marries dog to keep village safe from tigers

An infant in India was married to a dog to protect his town from tigers.

Around 150 tribespeople performed the ritual recently in a hamlet in the state of Orissa's Jajpur district after the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum.

The Munda tribe see such a growth in young children as a bad omen and believe it makes them prone to attacks by tigers and another animals. The tribal god will bless the child and ward off evil spirits after the marriage.

"We performed the marriage because it will overcome any curse that might fall on the child as well on us," the boy's father, Sanarumala Munda, was quoted as saying by a local newspaper.

The groom, Sagula, was carried by his family in procession to the village temple, where a priest solemnized the marriage between Sagula and his bride Jyoti by chanting Sanskrit hymns, a witness said.

The villagers then ate a feast with rich food and alcohol to celebrate.

The dog belongs to the groom's neighbors and was set free to roam around the area after the ceremony. No dowry was exchanged, the witness said, and the boy will still be able to marry a human bride in the future without filing for divorce.

So, if your child is born with bad teeth you need to marry them to a dog to prevent tiger attacks.

Ok

Man steals van from thieves

Patrick Rosario, a Washington man upon spying thieves in his house decided he'd stop them from getting away with his stuff by stealing their van.

The 32-year-old, laid-off Washington Mutual manager was in the basement of his Bellevue home Tuesday afternoon when he heard the thieves upstairs. He called 911 as he snuck out of the house and, against the advice of the dispatcher, hopped into the getaway car — a white Ford van that was parked in front of his house, still running — and drove away.

The burglars took off on foot, leaving a pile of televisions, a laptop and a jewelry box by the door. A witness who was visiting a home across the street saw them. According to the detectives' report, "the males looked back ... and appeared startled."

"I wish I could have seen the look on their faces," Rosario told The Seattle Times.

He said he recognizes it probably wasn't the wisest thing to do, but it nevertheless earned him some high-fives from responding officers.

"Two pulled up, and they looked over at me and go, 'You stole their car — way to go, dude. That's awesome,'" Rosario said. "Another told me that I just made her month."

Think the robbers will show up to claim thier vehicle?

Lawer angry about gorila birthday party

A lawyer is upset that a gorilla that went on a rampage injuring two zoo patrons is getting a birthday party.

The zoo celebrated the 16th birthday of Little Joe, a gorilla that injured two people when it escaped in 2003, Monday as part of its "Go Ape Week" festivities, WCVB-TV in Boston reported Tuesday.

Donald Gibson, who represented one of the gorilla's victims during a 2007 civil case against the zoo, accused officials of using the primate's infamy from the attacks as an advertising ploy.

"It's very frustrating to see this particular gorilla -- Little Joe -- used as a marketing tool given what happened," Gibson said.

However, zoo officials said celebrating the birthday of Little Joe, whose finger paint creations were displayed at the zoo during summer 2007, had nothing to do with the 2003 incident.

Happy Birthday to Joe. Gibson, you are mean, every Gorilla deserves a birthday.

Train station bans kissing

A train station in the UK has put up signs banning kissing.

The goal is to stop departing passengers from pulling up in their cars at a crowded drop-off point and pausing to kiss each other farewell.

Virgin Rail says it installed the sign while refurbishing the station after a local business networking group said the place had to become more efficient.

But profit margins may have been a factor, too.

Virgin Rail says that if passengers want to share an embrace before they part company, they should pay to park their cars nearby where they can kiss all they want.

Kisses, $5 an hour.

I can't believe that a goodbye hug or kiss takes that much time.

University deans admits to bike theft

A dean a USF has admitted that he stole a students bike earlier this week. The theft was captured on video and posted on youtube.

In a statement, Rao apologized and said he was trying to help a day laborer who needed transportation.

"I deeply regret this failure in judgment and the unfortunate attention it has generated," he wrote to USF officials. "... I gave a man who does odd jobs for me permission to use a bicycle that was parked at the center. I acted out of compassion for this nearly homeless man; but I failed to consider that the bicycle belonged to someone on our Alzheimer's team."

Rao, who makes $384,000 a year, took the bike on Monday night from a bike parking area on the loading dock of the Johnnie B. Byrd Sr. Alzheimer's Center and Research Institute.

The tape shows a woman riding up and parking her bicycle against a railing at 2 p.m. About 8:50 p.m., a minivan pulls up and Rao and a man get out. They look through some bikes near the railing, pick one and leave with it in the minivan.

Note to Rao, next time you want to do something nice for someone, use your own money or goods to help him.

Stealing an apple from the teacher

An 18 year old Florida student was arrested after he stole an apple figurine from his teacher and refused to give it back.

Officers said the student was playing with a spring and when his teacher confiscated it he took a red, glass apple from the teacher's desk. Officers told him he would face charges if he didn't return the apple.

The student responded, "So what, I'm not leaving without my spring," according to a report.

Officers took a picture of the apple as evidence. The student was released from jail.

Wonder if he thought it was worth it.

Indian company to produce new drink made with cow urine

An Indian company is working on a new formula for a drink that features cow urine.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release.

The flavor is not yet known, but the RSS said the liquid produced by Hinduism's revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

Many Hindus consider cow urine to have medicinal properties and it is often drunk in religious festivals.

The organization, which aims to transform India's secular society and establish the supremacy of a Hindu majority, said it had not decided on a name or a price for the drink.

"Cow urine offers a cure for around 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes. All are curable by cow urine," Om Prakash, the head of the RSS Cow Protection Department, told Reuters by phone.

I don't think I'll be trying that one.