Saturday, February 14, 2009

Bishop arrested for helping a child read on the chimney

A bishop in London was arrested after helping his sons onto the chimney to read a book as part of a contest.

Bishop Jonathan Blake, of the Open Episcopal Church, took pictures of his sons Nathan, eight, and Dominic, seven, while they sat on top of their two-storey home.

The children were calmly holding a book called "The Killer Underpants" for a school competition to find the most unusual place where a pupil had read a book.

After a neighbor alerted the police, the clergyman said he was arrested, driven away in a cage in the back of a van and kept overnight in a cell.

"I was taken out in handcuffs in front of the whole neighborhood while my children were in tears," the 52-year-old told Reuters on Thursday. "I was kept in the cells without any information about what was taking place from 7 p.m. until 10 a.m. the following morning.

"I am appalled and incredulous. I would never have imagined in a thousand years that this could have happened." The children were wearing safety harnesses and got on to the chimney via a flat roof at the back of the house in Welling, southeast London, he added.

Sounds like the police went a little crazy. I hope that the kids win the contest.

New York schools get nicer handcufs

Schools in New York are going to try using more friendly velcro handcuffs to restrain out of control kids.

New York Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly has approved the Velcro cuffs as a softer alternative to steel handcuffs, the New York Daily News reported Saturday.

School safety officers are expected to receive the alternative cuffs next week and then get two weeks of training on how to use them and when, said Deputy Police Commissioner Paul Browne.

The alternative cuffs are 22-inch strips of cloth with Velcro fasteners that can be adjusted to fit a child's wrist.

"We would prefer never to use restraints of any kind, but in those rare instances where it may become necessary, we want a softer alternative to conventional handcuffs," Browne said.

How nice of them.

Friday, February 13, 2009

We have a winner for most idiotic school policy.

A Place for Learning has won for the most idiotic school policy. Although it did appear that there was a tie I know that someone (cough my husband) voted at least twice for the second place finisher, No Red Pens Allowed.

Our new poll will be for the scientific discovery that is the least useful.

First we have the scientists that created a Cancer Doll.

Our second contender is the Scientists that have learned to write Really Really Small.

Our third and final contender is the researchers that discovered that Teenagers have to Much Self Esteem.

Man threatens to clone himself 14 times and raise all the kids on welfare

A man who is upset about Octomom is threatening to clone himself 14 times and raise the kids on welfare.

"I feel like I'm paying for everybody's kids. Women do this sort of crap all the time and I think if a man did it, welfare would wind up being better regulated ", states Gerard "Big Red" White.

He says that he will clone himself if Octomom Nadya Suleman gets fame and fortune from her fourteen children.

He will reconsider however if people buy him a beer.

Worlds Longest Fingernails Broken

A Salt Lake City Woman who had the worlds longest fingernails broke them in a car crash.

Redmond had serious injuries after being ejected from her SUV but they were not life threatening.

Each fingernail measured approximately 30 inches long and hadn’t been cut since 1979. The longest nail was her right thumb at 2 feet 11 inches.
Despite the insane length of her nails, she insists it doesn’t prevent her from carrying out every day tasks such as vacuming, driving and cleaning.

Redmond also cares for her husband who has suffered from Alzheimer’s for the past six years.

She was once offered $100,000 to cut her nails but never nailed down a time to to so.

She is currently hospitalized and listed in serious condition.

Wow, those are some fingernails. I can't imagine it's easy to wash your hair with nails like that. They kind of look like something crazy from a comic book.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Truck steals itself

A man who called police to notify them that his car had been stolen was surprised to find that it had stolen itself.

Michael Otero said he left the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked when he exited the red pickup truck to enter a 7-Eleven store Sunday in Laguna Beach, so he feared the worst when he came out of the store to find no trace of his vehicle, the Orange County (Calif.) Register reported Thursday.

Otero said police arrived and screened surveillance camera footage to find a most improbable explanation for the mystery. The video shows the manual transmission truck -- which Otero said had been put into first gear with the parking brake on -- rolling in reverse from its parking space and heading toward the street until it curved and slid into an empty parking spot in an adjacent lot.

"I'm just cracking up," Otero said. "I just thank God it didn't hurt anyone."

Otero said the truck received only minor damage from hitting a wall when it slid into its new parking space.

He planned to have a mechanic look at it to try to determine why it rolled on its own with the parking brake on and the transmission in gear.

And this is why you never leave your keys in your car.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Cop hit by nude biker

A policeman in Arkansas was trying to stop a naked motorcyclist on a sleeting night when he was led on a chase ending in an accident.

The man stopped abruptly several times in the street and then sped up quickly, until the trooper bumped him on one of the stops.

The report didn't indicate any injuries but both vehicles were damaged.

A witness quoted in the police report said the man was "naked as a jaybird."

Searcy police cited the man for indecent exposure, fleeing and not having a vehicle license. State police are still investigating.

That does not sound comfortable.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Secret Chicken Recipe Moved to Higher Security

The top secret Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe was moved to a more secure location Tuesday.

Nothing went afoul when the recipe was returned from an undisclosed location to KFC's headquarters late Monday in a lockbox handcuffed to the wrist of a security consultant.

KFC President Roger Eaton was visibly relieved when the door to a new electronic safe was shut with the single sheet of yellowing paper stashed inside. "Mission accomplished," he said.

"It was very nerve wracking," Eaton said later of the recipe's hiatus from a vault where it has been kept for decades. "I don't want to be the only president who's lost the recipe."

The recipe is such a tightly held secret that not even Eaton knows its full contents. Only two company executives at any time have access to the recipe. KFC won't release their names or titles, and it uses multiple suppliers who produce and blend the ingredients but know only a part of the entire contents.

"We've very comfortable with the security," Eaton said. "I don't think anyone can break into it."

Just how valuable is the recipe?

Thomas P. Hustad, professor of marketing at Indiana University's Kelley School of Business, said the recipe "goes to the core of the identity of the brand." The recipe, along with the man who created it, conjure images for the chain that help set it apart in the minds of customers, he said.

"I would say that the heritage value is just as high for this secret recipe as the stories around the Coke formula," Hustad said by phone Tuesday. "I guess I'd put the two of those at the top of the pyramid."

Dietl said the security measures he installed replaced an "antiquated" system. For years, the recipe was kept in a filing cabinet equipped with two combination locks in the vault.

"The colonel could have used a pry bar to open that thing up," Dietl said.

I'm glad to know the recipe is safe. It would be terrible if terrorists got a hold of the recipe . . . . .

Teenager arrested for candy scam

An Ohio teenager was arrested after he ordered 37,000 worth of candy and charged it to his high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

The candy company became suspicious, contacted the school and was told by detectives to send an empty box.

The brilliant teen had the candy delivered to his house where the police arrested him upon receipt of the package.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Scientists create cancer doll

Scientists in Japan have created a doll made out of cancer cells.

The 5mm high figure – which bears a passing resemblance to a jelly baby – was created from liver cancer cells held in place with the help of 100,000 capsules of collagen.

Each capsule was also coated with special cells that secreted a protein which helped bind the 3D structure.

The entity's humorous shape was created with a specially-made mould, but scientists at the University of Tokyo say that the technique has serious medical applications.

Shoji Takeuchi, who led the team at the Institute of Industrial Science, says that it will enable researchers to create a range of structures containing multiple cell types, allowing them to test cancer drugs in environments more closely resembling the human body.

The structures will be more useful than cell collections grown in petri dishes that are not so closely bound, he said.

Well if that doesn't work they can use it to scare little girls.

Police reassigned because of nude pictures

Several police officers in Sweden were reassigned after having a crazy naked party.

Police officials in Gothenburg said the nine officers, all of whom were male, were celebrating at a cabin near Gothenburg after completing supplemental training to serve in special tactical units, Swedish news agency TT reported Monday.

"These are officers with several years of experience. They are between 30 and 40-years-old," said Erik Nord, commander of field duty police officers in Gothenburg.

Nord said a game played at the party involved taking pictures of the officers' nude bodies while holding police-issued sub-machine guns. A male stripper was also in attendance at the party, Nord said.

He said none of the activities at the party were illegal, but they were "inappropriate" and "not acceptable."

"It shows a complete lack of judgment. You can't do what you want when you're off-duty and a policeman," said Nord.

No word as to whether or not the cops looked good in the photos. They have been reassigned to desk duty during the investigation

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Twins escape death penalty because of their identical looks

A set of twins in Malaysa has escaped the death penalty because no one can be sure which twin is which.

The 27-year-old twins, R. Sathis Raj and Sabarish Raj, had been charged with trafficking 166 kilos of cannabis and 1.7 kilos of raw opium in 2003. But police had trouble identifying which one was in possession of the drugs.

"This is a very unique case as they are identical twins. Even the DNA evidence could not prove anything as the DNA could be either Sathis' or Sabarish's," said High Court judge Zaharah Ibrahim.

"I can't be calling the wrong twin to enter his defence. I can't be sending the wrong person to the gallows," she said according to the New Straits Times as she acquitted the pair.

The court heard that one of the twins was caught taking a car load of drugs to a house in suburban Kuala Lumpur. After he was apprehended the other twin arrived at the house and was also arrested.

"It is clear that the first twin who was caught was the only one who had access to the house. Therefore, it is impossible for him not to know what was inside the bags," the judge said according to the daily.

However, she said there was reasonable doubt as to which twin had been arrested first. The brothers cried and embraced family members in the court room when the verdict was handed down.

It wasn't me, it was my evil twin!

Man calls 911 because there is no lemonade

A Florida man was arrested after he called 911 to report that a restaurant was out of lemonade.

Boynton Beach police charged Jean Fortune with misusing emergency services for his alleged phone call Saturday in which he complained about that lack of his preferred beverage at a local Burger King, The Palm Beach Post reported Sunday.

An arrest report alleges Fortune became upset upon learning the fast-food restaurant was out of lemonade.

After a drive-through employee failed to respond to Fortune's threat of contacting the police, the upset diner called 911, the report alleges.

When a police officer showed up and talked to all involved he issued a citation to the man to appear in court.

The race that makes you gain weight

Racers in North Carolina raced two miles to a doughnut shop where they then ate two dozen glazed doughnuts and then raced back to the start.

That's 2,400 calories and 144 grams of fat consumed while burning about 400 calories during the run.

The student-run Krispy Kreme Challenge raised about $35,000 for the North Carolina Children's Hospital.

The event began on a dare among college friends in 2004. Then-freshman Ben Gaddy won the first race by beating nine guys in about a half-hour.

That sounds terrible. I bet it's a hit with the frat boy crowd.

Man uses Klingon weapon to rob store

A man in Colorado Springs was seen robbing several gas stations with a Klingon sword.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a "bat'leth."Neither clerk was injured in the robberies.

The Web site describes the Klingon weapon as crescent-shaped and about a yard long. However, the weapon that the man was wielding appears to be smaller than that. The bat'leth has points on both ends, two points in between and a handle on the outside.

Police said they don't know if the sword used by the robber was made of metal.

They do however, know that the robber is weird.