Saturday, July 11, 2009

Mom claims daughter got pregnant from swimming in the pool

A woman is suing a hotel after her daughter got pregnant on vacation. She says that her daughter didn't meet any boys on vacation and she must have gotten pregnant from the swimming pool.

Magdalena believes the teenager conceived from stray sperm after taking a dip in the hotel's mixed pool. She is now seeking compensation from the hotel.

A travel industry source said: "The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there.

"She is determined to go ahead with the case."

Tourist authorities in Warsaw, Poland, have confirmed they received the bizarre complaint.

Now she's gullible. Perhaps someone should give mom a science lesson on how babies are made.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Man gets religious tatoo, runs out without paying

A Texas man had "God only can judge me" tattooed on his arm and then left without paying.

The tattoo artist said the man came in to the shop in the 200 block of West University Drive with some friends and asked for the motto along with the image of praying hands.

The artist completed the work and asked for $200, according to the report. The man handed over a credit card, but the charge was declined by the credit card company. The man waited in the front of the store for a bit with his friends, and the friends slipped away.

Then the man ran out of the store, according to the report.

Stealing a religious tattoo is such a good idea. I'm sure god loves that.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Police buy the doughnut shop

Several cops in Michigan who were upset about their doughnut shop closing purchased it so they could have all the doughnuts they could eat.

It's a great idea. Cops and donuts. Everybody talks about cops and donuts," said Officer Gregory.

A group of police officers were upset because their favorite donut shop was closing, so they bought it. Nine members of Clare's finest are now in the donut business.

"[It's a] group of, you know, nine policemen in this community, we all live here. That said, we're going to ban together as a group, and we're gonna save this bakery," said Officer Gregory. "You hear, you know, the same old jokes, like you guys are gonna eat up all the profit."

The bakery has been in business for 113 years. Now it will stay open a while longer.

Not afraid to be a walking stereotype are they?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Woman calls 911 because her cows got loose

A Wisconsin woman received a citation for calling 911 to report that her cows had gotten loose.

According to the 911 tapes, Tammy Nuttelman was home alone when seven of her cows got loose.

Nuttelman: "I need some help."
Dispatcher: "What's the problem?"
Nuttelman: "You got to round up all your cowbows there, somewhere. My cows got out and they are in the marsh."

After dispatchers told her twice that this wasn't an emergency and gave her the name and phone number of the town chairman, Nuttelman called back a third time.

Dispatcher: "911. What's the location of your emergency?"
Nuttelman: "Yes, this is a **** emergency! I've got seven ****ing cows out loose maybe going to the ****ing highway!"
Dispatcher: "OK, ma'am."
Nuttelman: "You need to let everybody know there are loose cows out there! They'll probably cause a major ****ing accident, you hear me?!"
Dispatcher: "Ma'am, you need to watch your language, OK?"
Nuttelman: "I don't care! I don't need to watch nothing!"

Dodge County Sheriff Todd Nehls says deputies didn't respond to the first calls because the cows weren't causing a hazard.

Dispatcher: "Why are you yelling at me?"
Nuttelman: "Because I tried to call before and you guys said it wasn't a ****ing emergency, and this is!"
Dispatcher: "No, ma'am, it is not an emergency that the cows are in the marsh. We gave you the number for the town chair."

This time, deputies did respond. They gave Nuttelman a citation for improper use of a telephone and abuse of 911.

Nuttelman even asked that a warrant be issued for the cows.

Dodge County communications director Pat Ninmann said dispatchers were trying to handle a serious crash elsewhere in the county at the time.

"Now we get this woman calling us up, swearing at us because we won't come and round up her cattle. You know, the dispatchers do a great job, and they expect some of that but this is completely uncalled for," Ninmann said.

Mooooo! We need a stupid 911 caller hall of fame. You can watch a video of the call here.

Girl tries to strangle her cousin with a bikini top

A Swedish girl tried to strangle her cousin with her bikini top during a fight.

Authorities in Lidkoping said the 17-year-old cousins were sunbathing Friday when one of the girls attempted to strangle the other by pulling her bikini top tight around her neck, The Local reported Monday.

The girl also allegedly bit her cousin and threatened to kill her during the incident, the report said.

I bet the bystanders enjoyed that fight. Nothing says great girl fight like flying tops.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Tooth lets man see again

A British man can see again, thanks to his tooth being used as a lens holder for his eye.

Martin Jones told The Sunday Telegraph because of a scrap yard accident 12 years ago, he was blind when he met his wife Gill four years ago. But with one of his front teeth now serving as a lens holder in his right eye, Jones is finally able to look upon his 50-year-old wife.

"The doctors took the bandages off and it was like looking through water and then I saw this figure and it was her," Jones said. "She's wonderful and lovely. It was unbelievable to see her for the first time."

Jones lost his left eye and suffered burns to 37 percent of his body when a tub of hot aluminum exploded in his face a dozen years ago, the Telegraph said.

Surgeon Christopher Lui was able to restore Jones's sight after helping the tooth grow tissue and blood vessels by inserting it in the man's cheek. The tooth was then inserted into Jones's eye along with a fitted lens.

Wonderful that he can see again. Totally amazing. And totally creepy.

Woman calls police over lost hamster

A woman in the UK called 999 (their version of 911) because her hamster got out of it's cage.

South Yorkshire Police released details of the call to promote the dangers of unnecessary use of the 999 service.

Requesting assistance after making contact with an operator, the woman explained: "It's my hamster. It's got out of its cage. It's gone into the bathroom and down into the floorboards."

She then added: "Is there any chance anyone could come and help me get it out?"

Other nuisance calls included a person complaining about wasps in their garden and others reporting a lack of credit on their mobile phones.

Superintendent Rob Odell confirmed that the force receives around 15,000 non-emergency calls per month.

He warned: "Every second counts in saving someone's life, preventing injury or catching a criminal. You never know when it could be you in desperate need of help and the last thing you need is to lose vital seconds or minutes because someone has called 999 to order a taxi."

Sounds like they've gotten something in common with the US where people call 911 to report that there aren't enough shrimp on their fried rice.