Saturday, April 11, 2009

Woman decides she wants to become polar bear food

A German woman jumped over a fence into the polar bear enclosure during feeding time and was bitten several times by one of the bears.

The brave keepers eventually managed to push the bear away and pull the woman to safety.

She was bitten by one of the four older polar bears in the enclosure and not by the famous Knut, who took Germany by storm as a cub after he was hand-raised by a keeper.

It is not known why the woman pulled the dangerous stunt but she initially appeared to be elated as she swam towards a bear in the enclosure.

I bet she wasn't elated when the bear started to eat her. She wins the stupid award for the day. You can see more pictures here.

Grandmother dies trying to break up a sword fight

A seventy seven year old Indiana Grandmother died when she tried to break up a sword fight between her brother in law and her grandson.

"We're unsure yet who started this fight, how the swordplay got involved," Mount said. "We're not sure who it was who stabbed the woman. We'll have to do some testing on the swords and figure out who had which sword, whose blood is on which sword."

One of the weapons was a World War II-era Japanese officer's sword with a thin blade, and the other had a thicker blade, Mount said.

Police placed Stegbauer's grandson, 39-year-old Chris Rondeau, under arrest on a preliminary charge of attempted murder. Stegbauer's brother-in-law, 69-year-old Adolf Stegbauer, suffered several serious stab wounds, police said.

Franziska Stegbauer was not breathing when officers arrived about 1 a.m. at the home on the city's northwest side and she was later pronounced dead at a hospital, police said.

Ok parents. Lock up all your weapons. Your guns and your swords.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Karate master kills two because of lice

A Russian Karate master killed a woman and her daughter with his Karate skills because he believed they gave his wife lice.

The drunk 26-year-old burst into a neighboring room in his hostel Tuesday and used karate moves to kill the pair, state investigator Eduard Abdullin said by telephone from Kazan, a city 700 km (430 miles) east of Moscow.

"He literally beat them to death with his hands and feet," Abdullin said. "The family were poor and drank a lot. He blamed them for infecting his wife and the entire corridor with lice."

The 58-year-old husband of the dead woman was also badly beaten, but survived.

Well, lice are nasty little buggers. Murder seems a little harsh though.

So, did that story make your head itch?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Judge sends six year old to traffic school

A six year old is being sent to traffic school because he refused to wear his seatbelt.

Daniel resists wearing a seat belt in her van.

"He took off his buckle twice. I pulled over one time and put it on him, then he took it off again right when he passed by the cop," Peet said.

A Los Lunas police officer gave Peet a ticket because of Daniel's offense.She said she went to the Valencia County courthouse and pleaded not guilty."

He agreed with me because I was wearing my buckle," Peet said. "It was my son who wasn't wearing the buckle.

"The judge waived the ticket but demanded to see Daniel in the courtroom."

The judge talked to him and told him if he would keep doing this he would have to come back to the judge and the judge would see what he could do from there," Peet said.Daniel will also have to go to a special class with the state school of driving.

I wonder how much the special driving school is going to cost taxpayers. I think that perhaps the mother should attend parenting classes also so she can learn how to make her child do something. How is she going to make him go to school when he's a teen and wants to quit or make him be home by curfew if she can't even make him wear a seat belt without a judge telling him that he has to.

I've never been a fan of discipline through the judicial system instead of through the parents disciplining through appropriate consequences at home. Hopefully this is the last our judicial system sees of Daniel but if his mother doesn't learn how to control him at the age of six I suspect it will only get worse as he gets older and is able to get into deeper trouble.

This pothole repair brought to you by KFC

KFC is volunteering to repair potholes around the country for free as long as they can put advertising on top of the repairs that says "refreshed by KFC".

While KFC seems more suited to pot pies than potholes, the company is likely to build a reservoir of goodwill among the general population.

"This program is a perfect example of that rare and optimal occurrence when a company can creatively market itself and help local governments and everyday Americans across the country," said Javier Benito, exec VP-marketing and food innovation at KFC. Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson noted in a statement that budgets are tight for cities across the country, and finding funding for road repairs is a dirty job. "It's great to have a concerned corporation like KFC create innovative private/public partnerships like this pothole refresh program."

In addition to the Louisville project, KFC has issued an open offer to U.S. mayors to tell them about the state of their city streets and request assistance. The chain will select as many as four more cities at random for pothole assistance.

Can someone tell KFC to come here. MI roads are horrible and the taxpayer savings in this economy would be welcome.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Florida City Bans Jello Wrestling

A Florida city has banned Jello Wrestling. They've also banned other forms of naked dancing and wrestling. The best part is how specific the city council was about their definitions of nudity. For example, in case you wonder what they mean by naked buttocks they'll tell you:

"For purposes of this section, the term 'buttocks' shall mean the area at the rear of the body which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top such line drawn at the top of the nates (i.e. the prominence of the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line drawn at the at the lowest visible of this cleavage or the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshy protuberance, whichever is lower, and between two imaginary lines on each side of the body, which lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above, and ..."

Good to know, in case anyone was confused.

Teens get community service for UFO prank

Two New Jersey men have received fines and community service after they staged a series of UFO hoaxes.

Between Jan. 5 and Feb. 19, Russo and Rudy released helium balloons with traffic flares tied to them on five separate occasions in what they called a "social experiment" to debunk the pseudoscience of UFOs.

They set the balloons aloft from a field in Hanover Township, later calling a local television station to report the red lights.

On April 1, they published an article and series of videos on the website eSkeptic explaining how and why they created the hoax.

But one day after the expose, Morris County Prosecutor Robert A. Bianchi held a press conference condemning the hoax, saying the floating balloons posed a potential fire hazard and could have interfered with air traffic at nearby Morristown Airport.

In court Tuesday, Carlucci accepted a plea deal from Rudy and Russo's attorneys to cite the pair for an ordinance violation. He ordered the pair to serve their community service for the Hanover Recreation Commission, working specifically with youth.

Sounds like the judge needs to get a sense of humor. Although the sentence wasn't overly harsh or unfair.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Woman calls 911 because her fried rice didn't have enough shrimp

A Texas woman called 911 because she was upset that her fried rice didn't have enough shrimp.

Restaurant' employees said the woman originally left with her order, but came back claiming she did not get her full $1.62 worth of extra shrimp. Since she had already left the building with her food, they refused to give her a refund.

"She started yelling and screaming, brought her boyfriend in and they started making a scene in here," said Alex Kim, the restaurant's attorney.

Employees said that's when the irate woman called 911 to try to get help from the police.

"I always get the shrimp fried rice, so I said I'm going to get extra meat this time. But he didn’t even put extra shrimp in there," she told the 911 operator.

Police say that the woman will not be punished for the phone call because it wasn't obscene or abusive.

I suspect that the ridicule that she will receive from the incident being publicized will be punishment in itself. I wonder if she'll go back to the restaurant.

Monday, April 6, 2009

New honeymoon destination: Saddam's bed

Iraq is looking for tourists! They are offering tourists the chance to spend the night in one of Saddams beds while the palace is being renovated for around one hundred and fifty pounds.

With its Roman columns, chandeliers and gargantuan bathrooms, the palace is a striking example of excess, and one of several reserved for the exclusive pleasure of the dictator, who was deposed in 2003 and executed in 2006.

Perched on top of a man-made hill overlooking the Euphrates, the building has seen better days: even the lavatories were removed in the orgy of looting that followed the allied invasion of the country in 2003. Until 2005, it was occupied by American troops, who have left their mark in the stonework with a variety of graffiti such as “Brian loves Brandy”.

Today outlying buildings that used to house soldiers from Saddam’s special guard have been refurbished and turned into luxury hotel rooms with widescreen televisions and king-size beds. Now the palace bedrooms are to be revamped, and that could take a considerable time.

“I’ve been here three years and I can’t tell you how many bedrooms or bathrooms there are,” said Abdul Satar Naji, in charge of security at the palace.

The palace currently sees around a thousand tourists daily who pay to look around and picnic on the estate.

Now that's where I want to spend my honeymoon. In the bed of a tyrant who tormented those who disagreed with him. Creepy

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Detroit police disarm crowd of their pillows

A flash mob pillow fight was halted when Detroit Police officers took everyone's pillows away.

The pillow fight, which was to be one of at least 50 across the world Saturday organized by people on social networking Web sites, was shut down by Detroit police officers who were stationed at the park.

"I am furious," 23-year-old Elida Quesada of Ferndale said as she fumed while watching officers take pillows as soon as people showed up with them. "It (a pillow fight) is so silly and childlike. It would have been fun. It seems like everything that is fun is illegal."

Officers in blue jumpsuits were polite to the people who were stopped, but firm about seizing the pillows. One officer told a would-be pillow fighter that 5,000 pillows had been seized by the planned 4 p.m. start of the event.

Detroit Police spokesman James Tate would not say how police learned about the event in advance. He said there were numerous Internet postings. He said the event posed a clean up issue because typically there are large amounts of feathers and other pillow fillings left behind. There also were concerns of people getting hit who did not wish to participate, he said.

Michael Davis, 32, of Hamtramck said, "They took my pillows, but let me keep my cases." "They told me I needed a permit. I can understand."

Scott Harris, a 48-year-old Ferndale resident whose pillow was taken by officers, was not as understanding.

"It is not illegal to own a pillow," he said.

Now that's not fun. It's too bad that people can't be trusted to clean up after themselves.

Judge orders parrot into court

A judge in Florida has ruled that a parrot must appear in court so it's owner can be determined.

Palm Beach County Judge James Martz ordered the $2,000 parrot to appear in his court Monday to help decide which Boca Raton, Fla., woman owns the bird, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Saturday.

On one side of the legal battle is 52-year-old Angela Colicheski, who insists she purchased the parrot 13 years ago. She alleges her parrot flew away 3 years ago, only to reappear in the possession of 47-year-old Sarita Lytell.

Lytell alleges she found her parrot, also an African Grey, around the same time of the disappearance of Colicheski's bird, but refuses to hand over her beloved pet.

Colicheski's attorney, Spencer Siegel, told the Sun-Sentinel his client hopes to win her lawsuit by having Lytell bring her parrot into court.

"The bird wears an identification ring on his claw," Siegel said. "And we feel that it's necessary (to prove ownership) if the numbers on the ring become essential."

Couldn't the possessor of the parrot just give it a new ring? Or perhaps the parrot will fly to the rightful owner.